Surrealistic by Beth Waters

it’s hard to see
since it started raining and it
melts the streets and softens everything
haloed lights
a quiet sprinkling
in my mind
a distant beckoning

everything’s surrealistic
everything’s surrealistic
everything’s surrealistic in the rain
in the rain

moments caught
single frames of time and
restaurants where lovers sit against the
fogged up glass
they sip their coffee and watch the
streetcars pass
they must be happy

everything’s surrealistic
everything’s surrealistic
everything’s surrealistic in the rain
in the rain

through the leaves
it murmurs down the possibilities
that nothing is the way it
seems to be
even the dullest thing is
glistening
and beautiful to me

everything’s surrealistic
everything’s surrealistic
everything’s surrealistic in the rain
in the rain

======================================

Sorry for all the lyrics postings... I'm stuck in a music funk today.

Breathe No More by Evanescence

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.
So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no...
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more.

[Piano Solo Ending]

Mary Jo by Belle and Sebastian

Mary Jo, living alone
Drinking tea, on her own
She wants, I don't know what you want

Mary Jo, living alone
Drinking gin the telly's on
She wants

The night to follow day and back again
She doesn't want to sleep
Well who could blame her if she wants?
The night to follow day and back again
She doesn't want to sleep
Well who could blame her, if she sleeps?
Well who could blame her, if she sleeps?
Well who could blame her, if she's sleeping?

Mary Jo, back with yourself
For company, keep telling yourself you're young
And It'll happen soon

Mary Jo, no one can guess
What you've been through
Now you've got love to burn

It's someone else's turn to go through Hell
Now you can see them come from fifty yards
Yeah you can tell
It's someone else's turn to take a fall
And now you are the one who's strong enough to help them
The one who's strong enough to help them
The one who's strong enough to help them all

Mary Jo, you're looking thin
You're reading a book, "The State I Am In"
But oh, it doesn't help at all
What you want is a cigarette
And a thespian with a caravanette in Hull

Yeah, life is never dull in your dreams
A pity that it never seems to work the way you see it
Life is never dull in your hand
A sorry tale of action and the men you left for
Women, and the men you left for
Intrigue, and the men you left for dead

Periphery

Changing..
every second
every minute
Can't keep up
Bam! bam! bam!
Just like that
a different person
Dont't even blink
You might not know who I am
when you open your eyes again

Tonight I hate small talk.

I don't know what got into me today. I attended a dinner for our project team, and I was surly and silent most of the time.

I dunno... Somehow, everything seemed extra fake tonight. We all know that conversations at these types of things are more to fill the silence than anything else, but during our dinner, all the small talk and loud laughter seemed more feigned and contrived than usual.

I could have rolled my eyes at all those "So... does your country have hot springs, too?" and those oft-repeated questions of "How long have you been in Japan?" and "Are you enjoying your stay?" that always seem to pop up at every dinner I've ever attended here.

I know, I know... these questions are only natural... and I shouldn't really take issue. But I just wasn't in the mood tonight. I know that person asking me what project I'm working on isn't really interested to know what I'm keeping myself busy with. He just happened to be sitting beside me, and so he feels obliged to talk to me to avoid that awkward silence that's a big no-no in any social gathering. Aaah... the twists and turns of human social interaction. It just makes you wonder who created the rules, and why the heck everyone is following them. Actually, I was thinking those exact same thoughts as I sat there at the dinner table keeping stubbornly silent. In fact, I was so out of it I didn't even attempt to start any sort of conversation with anyone. Of course, I responded when somebody asked me something, but other than that I could have pretended I wasn't there, and everyone else would have agreed hehehe.

There are just some days I'm not fit company, and it's just too bad that tonight was one of them. Oh well, it happens. I just hope the people from my project team don't start thinking I'm suplada or anything like that (but I know it's too late to worry about that now hahaha!)

Ribbons Undone

I like this song.. about growing up... coz I'd like to think.. I've grown up too.

"Ribbons Undone"
by Tori Amos

She's a girl
Rising from a shell
Running to spring
It is her time it is her time
Watch her run with ribbons undone

She's a rose in a lily's cloak
She can hide her charms
It is her right there will be time
To chase the sun with ribbons undone

She runs like a fire does
Just picking up daises
Comes in for a landing
A pure flash of lightening
Past alice blue blossoms
You follow her laughter
And then she'll surprise you
Arms filled with lavender

Yes my little pony is growing up fast
She corrects me and says
"You mean a thoroughbred"
A look in her eyes says the battle's beginning
From school she comes home and cries
I don't want to grow up Mom at last not tonight

You're a girl
Rising from a shell
Running through spring
With summer's hand in reach now
It is your time
It is your time
So just run with ribbons undone
It is your time yes my angel
It is your time
So just run with ribbons undone

Run run darlin'
Ribbons undone

Eeeeeeeee!!!......

This picture is so driving me crazeeeeeee!!!!!.... I wanna pinch! pinch! pinch!!

Memories of Summer

I can remember the stifling heat that leaves me lying like a landed fish on the floor, gasping for any relief that I could possibly suck out of the thick summer air. The electric fan that I carefully hoard for myself stands like a sentinel nearby, futilely trying to stir some semblance of coolness to snap me out of the heady daze that my mind seems to have sunk into.

On days like that, everything seems to move in slow motion, making me think that the air has congealed into a thick liquid, rendering any sort of movement difficult and deliberate. My eyes even seem to be looking through this substance, the outline of the ceiling as I stare into it becoming deformed and twisted, like seeing a mirage in the desert.

My brothers pass the time watching television, and the noise of the afternoon shows lull me further into half-sleep and dreams. Why does everything seem to be awash in a muted white, all edges seemingly fuzzy and insubstantial? I can’t breathe, and the sweat is like an itch that I can’t wait to be rid of.

My strength slowly ebbs away, melting from my immobile body into the floor. And my eyes close and my consciousness fades away… until summer is only a hazy memory half-remembered in my dreams.

===================

This is something that I wrote today while being desperately bored in the office ~_~

At 3:10 pm...

Right now she's sitting backstage, nervously twisting the hem of her sequined dress, preparing herself to step out onto the stage. She's a singer, only been famous for a year, still careful and wary that one less-than-stellar performance could ruin the reputation that she had so painstakingly built. Tonight she would go drink her favorite brand of red, while kicking back in her huge upholstered sofa, in the condominium that her recent fame had bought her. But for now... it was the stage and her... and the audience that she had to do her best to please.

A purchase of a carton of milk, a slab of butter and a loaf of bread. He pushed his groceries in front of the cashier, and took out his wallet to count out some bills. This was one good thing about living alone -- he didn't have to think too much about what to prepare for his meals. Cornflakes for breakfast, microwaved packaged chicken cutlets at all times of the day, sometimes bread and eggs for supper, like what he would be having for tonight. Of course he knew this was a different way of thinking about things, esp. for a man who had recently left his wife. Others would be griping about the nice home-cooked meals that they missed by now, the ready plates of mashed potatoes with gravy, the vegetable salads and haunches of roast beef steeped in sauce. But he didn't miss her, and he didn't want to miss anything about her. He was happier without her, even with only bread and eggs for supper.

The lake was shimmering when it came up to meet him, a flash of diamonds and then the sound of a huge splash around his ears as he entered the water. It was an amazing day for a swim. Saturday and sunny, there was no school and for a few hours his mother would be busy with her sewing or her afternoon tea, or the daily book-reading she allowed herself as her form of relaxation. She wouldn't be looking for him anytime soon. He frolicked a few minutes more in the water, sometimes submerging himself and swimming down as deep as he could. After a while he swam to shore, gathering up the shirt and pants that he left sitting on the ground beside his bicycle. He sat down on a rock and allowed the air to dry himself, while chewing on a piece of gum that he had brought with him. He stared at the blue sky and relished the smell of woodpine that surrounded him. Tomorrow would be Sunday, and he would have to go to church with his mother and father again. He hated going to mass. But then again, he would be able to see Jenny all pretty with her hair tied up in a ribbon, and slim in her white Sunday blouse and plaid skirt. It was all worth it for that.

She sucked in her breath as the roller coaster twisted up the rails. She knew there was another stomach-churning plunge coming, and she steeled herself for it. And when it came she screamed, she screamed so loud but yet she couldn't hear herself above the whoosh of air around her ears, and the shouts and squeals of the other passengers with her. When those frightening seconds were over, and the coaster twisted yet again to follow the convoluted shape of the tracks, she wondered for the hundredth time what she was doing here, how she had let her cousin talk her into going on this maddening ride. She never liked roller coasters, or any ride that could induce screaming in a person for that matter. She could never figure out why people would want to make their lives miserable by riding one of these things. She had always prided herself on being a sensible person, and thrill rides, she thought, had no sense in them whatsoever. But here she was, screaming fit to spill her guts out, doing the most insensible thing she had ever done in her life, and she found she was enjoying it.

Sakura Pics!

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Happy...

Happy April Fool's!

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...Dead tired... Just got back from sakura touring...